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October 31st, 2022

10/31/2022

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What is EMDR? 

By David Polidi, LICSW, MEd

“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” –Jean-Paul Sartre

We all experience trauma. I am not only speaking about the type of trauma that happens when we experience horrific things such as accidents, violence, or combat. I am also speaking about the injustices and personal violations that we all experience at some point in our lives…. Parents who were never attuned to our emotions or who were physically and verbally aggressive, other school children who taunted and humiliated us, caregivers struggling through their own addictions and mental health issues, and on and on…. Having these moments in our lives does not mean that we have trauma.

Trauma is defined by our
experience of these things. When we are in a situation and feel overwhelmed/ disoriented, and our bodies are not sure how to keep us safe, events can stay stuck inside of our memory. We can be reminded of these events over and over again, and even when we are in a relatively safe space, our bodies can feel as if we have traveled back to the original disturbing event. It can feel as if we are being threatened over and over again– this is trauma. 


EMDR is one strategy that can be used within therapy to help recover from trauma. Francine Shapiro, who developed EMDR therapy, shared that she sees this as a form of “reprocessing therapy.” Traumatic memories in the body and brain are unlocked, processed and then released from our bodies so we are no longer impacted by the intensity and terror that go along with trauma. 

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. In early stages of the development of this protocol, the therapist would have the client move their eyes back and forth simulating REM sleep, and this seemed to help them go into a state where the trauma memories could be accessed on a somatic level. More recently, therapists practicing EMDR have found other ways to help someone tap into these emotions and experiences, and so while some therapists continue to help someone use eye movements, there are other ways to stimulate the same areas of the brain.

EMDR is one of the only forms of therapy that is scientifically proven to have positive results in trauma processing. While the exact mechanisms are still somewhat unclear, EMDR rewires how the brain recalls and remembers traumatic events. EMDR integrates well with other forms of therapy, such as the traditional talk therapy approaches and works to help clients increase their hope, resiliency and their innate ability to move in a more positive direction in their life. 

Although research has shown that the most successful therapy depends on the relationship that is created between you and your therapist, it could also be helpful to get a better understanding of what models of therapy your therapist feels comfortable using, what models they find to be most effective and for what types of presenting problems. As you learn more about the different types of therapeutic models that are out there, you can see what type of therapy resonates with you, and what you would like to explore in your own path to healing.

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October 15th, 2022

10/15/2022

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What I Wish My Clients Knew Before Coming to Therapy (Part 2)

By ​Lauren Bouyea, LICSW

    The decision to begin therapy can be a difficult one for many people. Whether it is the cost, the continued (but improving!) stigma surrounding mental health and mental health treatment, or fear of the unknown, it can be difficult  to make that first phone call. While much of what you will learn about therapy will happen in the therapy room, below is a list of some of the things that I wish I could tell all clients ahead of time.


Your therapist has probably been in therapy too.

Many clients assume that because I am a therapist, I must have my life all figured out! This can contribute to assumptions that therapists don’t make mistakes and that they are going to judge you for yours. This could not be farther from the truth! 


In fact, many therapists are either in their own therapy or have been in the past. This is not only because therapists inherently see the value in therapy, but also because they have human struggles. Sometimes, this is even a requirement of certain therapy programs to begin practicing. 


Rome was not built in a day.

How long does therapy take? That definitely depends who you ask and what you are personally looking for. There are many styles of therapeutic practice, from brief interventions to lifelong psychodynamic work. With this ambiguity, it is easy to become frustrated or hopeless if you feel you are not making progress at the rate you expected. If this happens to you, remember that Rome was not built in a day. In other words, the difficulties and problems that brought you to therapy are issues that you have likely been dealing with for quite some time. It makes sense that it will take a bit of time to tease apart and rearrange the internal world that you’ve spent a lot of time living in. Be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process! We all move at our own pace. 


Therapy is a relationship. 

​The relationship between therapist and client is unique and important. In fact, research shows that the strength of this relationship is positively correlated with progress and outcomes. This makes sense since it is easier to open up to somebody who you feel is non-judgmental, compassionate, and understanding. Although the therapeutic relationship has different ethical boundaries than your everyday friendships and social ties, you will find some similarities too. For example, like in any relationship, you may feel frustrated or angry with your therapist at times. While it can be difficult or uncomfortable, feeling angry with your therapist is the perfect opportunity to practice interpersonal skills, communication, and repairing ruptures in trust in a safe, controlled environment. I encourage you to check-in every so often on how the relationship is developing and share these insights with your therapist.


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September 30th, 2022

9/30/2022

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What I Wish My Clients Knew Before Coming to Therapy (Part 1)

By ​Lauren Bouyea, LICSW

The decision to begin therapy can be a difficult one for many people. Whether it is the cost, the continued (but improving!) stigma surrounding mental health and mental health treatment, or fear of the unknown, it can be difficult  to make that first phone call. While much of what you will learn about therapy will happen in the therapy room, below is a list of some of the things that I wish I could tell all clients ahead of time.

​You are the expert on your own life
It is a common misconception that therapists give advice. This might be surprising to some, but therapists are specifically trained not to give advice. While it might be tempting to ask your therapist if you should break up with your partner or which school you should apply to, therapy is intended to help you discover the answers to these questions yourself. Whether it is through identifying what you value in life, reviewing consequences of past behavior, or improving decision-making skills, your therapist’s goal is to create the necessary scaffolding for you to eventually work through problems without their guidance. 


You get out what you put in
Another misconception about therapy is that it is something done “to” a person.  This perception makes sense, as when you go to another health care professional, they might give you stitches or clean your teeth with little to no input from you. However, when sitting down in the therapy room, be prepared to do some heavy lifting. This is because therapy is done with you not on you. It is common for therapists of all different styles to have some agenda set for the session, but for best results, participation is a must! Plan to go to therapy with at least one thing you want to discuss or gain a better understanding of. On the flip side, if your therapist suggests an exercise that you are not interested in or don’t feel comfortable with, let them know! This helps both of you to work on creating the therapeutic environment and expectations together. 

Not every therapist will be a good fit
It feels frustrating to go through the work of finding a therapist, making an appointment, and attending said appointment only to realize that they are not your cup of tea. Whether it is their therapeutic style, an uncomfortable office environment, or something you can’t quite pinpoint, it’s a common occurrence. If this happens to you, there are a couple of things I want you to remember!

 First, you will not hurt your therapist’s feelings by letting them know. I always admire a client’s ability to advocate for their needs and am more than willing to refer them to somebody that might be a better match. Second, if you have been seeing this therapist for a while, beware of the sunken cost fallacy. In a nutshell, this occurs when you have invested time and money into a person or thing and therefore have difficulty letting go even if it's in your best interest. Have a conversation with your therapist about what you are experiencing and work through the best course of action together. 

There are no bad thoughts or feelings
Many people come to therapy with some goals in mind such as to be happy, be free from their anxiety, or to stop feeling depressed. However, the goal of therapy is not to get rid of “negative” thoughts, feelings, or mood states. Our internal experiences are not inherently good or bad, they just are. Therapy can help you to connect with these emotional states and experience/respond to them more healthily as being part of any full, human life. 


Am I saying that feelings of depression, anxiety, or other uncomfortable emotions won’t improve in therapy? Of course not! But we won’t be trying to make them go away, either. We will invite them in for tea, make room for them on the couch, and be in their presence instead of slamming the door in their face. While it is much easier to slam the door, learning to ride the wave of emotion allows our natural feelings to run their course. 

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CASTLEBROOK COUNSELING SERVICES, INC.
24 Lyman St. Suite 200
Westborough, MA 01581
(508) 475-9110

Mission Statement

​Castlebrook Counseling Services, Inc. is a group of private practice clinicians with a shared goal of strengthening our community by providing therapy and clinical support designed for children, adults, and families to successfully meet life’s challenges.
  • Home
  • Services
    • Therapy
    • Rates & Insurance
  • DBT
    • DBT Parent Bootcamp
    • Comprehensive DBT
    • DBT Groups
    • DBT Parent Groups
    • DBT for Clinicians
  • Meet the Team
  • Request Appointment
  • Contact Us
  • Careers
  • Blog
  • Client Portal