Book Recommendation for Couples: Us by Terrence Real

Book Recommendation for Couples: Us by Terrance Real

By David Polidi, LICSW

• Are you feeling that lately you and your partner have been communicating poorly? 

• Have there been non-stop fighting with your partner, or stonewalling?

 

• Is 2023 the year that you are going to embrace better communication and strengthen your relationship bond?

If you have answered “Yes” to any of these questions, I have a book recommendation for you: Terrence Real’s book, simply titled, Us.

The book consists of a multitude of tools and concepts to help one feel closer to his/ her/ their partner. It includes many case examples of ways couples implemented these tools to improve their connection. One of the tenets of the book is that couples need to view themselves as an “Us” and no longer as a “me and you.” When stuck in a feeling of “me and you,” according to the author, there is more blame and feelings of “I am right, you are wrong.” In fact, Real goes on to say, “there is no place for objective reality in personal relationships.” To me, this translates as: There is no “right” and no “wrong,” the only thing that matters is how we feel, and both perceptions are correct and valid. When we are focused on “Us” both of our experiences matter and should be honored. 

For someone like me, who bee-lines over to the psychology section in a bookstore to look through all of the new titles of the self-help books on the shelf, this book does not disappoint. Bruce Springsteen even weighs in, at the beginning of the book, to lend his support to it. Springsteen described how the book helped guide him through his own failures buried deep in his personal life. If you are looking for an interesting discussion on ways to navigate through relationship struggles, and are looking for a new book to add to your “to-read” list, I invite you to check out this book, and see if it is something you would like to read. Maybe this could be just the thing to help you and your partner move into a relationship of “Us” for the new year.


David Polidi, LICSW
David is a licensed independent clinical social worker who completed his undergraduate studies at Clark University and received his graduate degrees from Boston University. David works primarily with adults and older adolescents, and enjoys using Motivational Interviewing and EMDR therapy to help clients increase hope and imagine/ realize a better future.